If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Randomize