I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
