I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Randomize
