Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
