Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
