I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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