He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Randomize
