Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
