i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize