Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize