Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
