And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Randomize
