She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
