summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
We talked him into tasing himself.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Randomize
