our cab driver is having phone sex.
time to smoke my breakfast
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Sorry about my life...
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
