Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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