I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Alive.
So much puke
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
