dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Enjoy the penises
Randomize
