I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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