We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Randomize
