they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Randomize
