I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
