I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Randomize
