when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
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