my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
