u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
