where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize