my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
