i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
