Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
