That's intense
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
