so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Randomize
