Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
