The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
