**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
My liver just had a heart attack.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Randomize
