Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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