all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Randomize
