just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
This couple is walking their pig around campus
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
