shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Randomize
