Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
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