quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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