But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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