So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
A+ Viking dick
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
