The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize
