New invention idea: vibrating tampons
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
