The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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