how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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