Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
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