We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
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