he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
