my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
