Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Randomize
