i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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