he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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