Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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