4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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