quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize