I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
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