omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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