Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize