Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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